There’s that feeling that birds get every fall when they know it’s time to head South. I think I’m feeling that same kind of thing, only rather than it being the fall, I am believing for the spring season in my life. This blog has never been easy, but it’s been healing for me in many ways. Thank you for encouraging me as I’ve been working this out.
Now though, I need to start looking forward.
I hope you’ve been able to take something away as you’ve watched me process this time in my life. Even though your situation is different, there are universal themes that we all contend with together as we pass through our time here on earth.
What have I learned so far?
For starters, being honest with myself comes before seeking God in earnest. If I’m not raw before Him, I’m stunting who I can become in Him.
Second, Faith is blind to circumstances. I either have it or I don’t. There are no degrees. If I claimed before to have it, then it doesn’t matter what I’m faced with in this life. If I were to abandon Faith through this, I never had it to begin with.
Third, knowing God does not equate to understanding Him or His ways. Seemingly random events in life do not lessen God’s power. Power is greatest when it is restrained to allow free will. And a forced love is no love at all.
I live with a heightened sensitivity to the fragility of life and how each day is to be cherished, because none of us know when life as we know it will end. We need to honor it, spend it and share it – that’s why we were given it.
This is the day I’ve dreaded for awhile, when I walk into the rest of my life. From the beginning I’ve feared that getting healthy again meant accepting the harsh reality that I now live with. I think the harshness will soften, but I know the sting of this experience will live with me until my final day here. It is my burden for God to carry.
Ryan, I am not a worthy recipient of such a priceless gift. Jesus, I say the same to you. To you both, I pledge to live a life that honors you. Thank you. I love you with all that I am.
“The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what He tells you”. Ecclesiastes 12:13